edited.,
Wednesday, October 03, 2007.
Im
H E A R T B R O K E N.
That is the only word i can say to describe every possible feeling i have right now.
but ill be strong. hes just not worth my tears(and i remind myself that constantly). i feel that im still living in the past, which i really desire to let go of as soon as possible. but even if i forced myself to, every little thing i do now reminds me of u when we had once created a beautiful love story. all that is left now are portraits of disaster haunting me during my solitary nights. the fact that im allowing these feelings embrace me while i sob silently is not helping me regain myself one bit. everyone can only help with advices and inspirational words, but in the end, im the one who's dealing with this pain alone. even so, i try not to show my emotions in front of others coz i really dun want to trouble them or spoil their day.
That is the only word i can say to describe every possible feeling i have right now.
but ill be strong. hes just not worth my tears(and i remind myself that constantly). i feel that im still living in the past, which i really desire to let go of as soon as possible. but even if i forced myself to, every little thing i do now reminds me of u when we had once created a beautiful love story. all that is left now are portraits of disaster haunting me during my solitary nights. the fact that im allowing these feelings embrace me while i sob silently is not helping me regain myself one bit. everyone can only help with advices and inspirational words, but in the end, im the one who's dealing with this pain alone. even so, i try not to show my emotions in front of others coz i really dun want to trouble them or spoil their day.
i am sure many want to know the cause of my sudden break-up. well, lets just leave that a secret i dun wish to share thou' what he had said and done really left me speechless and broken that at times i want to tell it to the whole world and shame him so much hes gonna regret he ever knew me. ok im done infuriating myself.
looking over to the other side of things(still ain't bright actually),
i need a breakkkkkkkkk.. pls dun go too fast on me.coz i still cant open the doors to my recently turned fragile heart. and if u give me signs right now, i'll pretend i dun hear or see them. Seriously, i just got out from a bad (almost)2 yrs relationship and u cant expect me to go out with sumone new that fast! Gimme tyme to sort out my feelings and regain my old normal and happy self first. All i need now is someone to comfort me and be there whenever i accidentally turn emotional. THATS ALL. Im not searchin for a bf soon enuf so refrain from tryin for the mean time can? The thought of starting a new relationship sends shivers down my spine. Hais. And if u feel that im referring this to u, dun worry.. Ure not alone. Thats all i can say.
Haha. Maybe, I need to relax a bit and enjoy single life instead of brooding over something unworthy. YAY!
im SINGLEEE!
FINALLY, FREEDOM IS MINE.
